Mission Quotes

“We have more to fear from puberty than from death”

“It’s about faith . . . Touch it! TOUCH IT!!”

“so . . . um . . . what’s your last name?”

“even cavemen worshiped idols”

“there’s a lot of alcohol in Alcohol.”

“Yeah, quitting drinking is easy! I do it every night!”

“And then I juxtaposed Darth Vader into the revolutionary war.”

“I knew a cat that could climb a tree without claws, and then it got eaten by a hawk.”

“Are you FBI?

No, we’re Jesus people.”

“Hey look, it’s the bible people.”

“Downshift and pray”

“if megamind had a child, it would look like you(to ex-girlfriend)”

“Holy stawberries! The incredible Hulk just walked by. Fee Fi Fo Fum I smell the blood of a white man”

“You’re a cute little kid, of course they’ll answer the door.”

“My mother was crazy. if shed’ve had her fake teeth in, shed’ve bit ya. we didn’t have home teachers for six years.”

“well Cain went and mated with the beasts of the forest and I thought that’s where cavemen came from.”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

“[watching a lava lamp] That looks like sperm.

i was thinking the same thing.”

“what the excuse today? does grandma have herpes?[next week grandma is sick]”

“if you want to find a drunk, go to the bar. if you want to find a good woman, go to church.”

“Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you were arguing over the water in the glass, I drank it.

Love, Opportunist.”

“[speaking of Alcohol] sometimes it’s what the body needs.”

“I took care of one guy with a punch from my foot.”

“I enjoy going to the bathroom in the woods.”

“Are you baptizing the caveman?”

“Will it blend? That is the question.”

“MASHED POTATOES!!!”

“Adam and eve wouldn’t have had any kids.

No Pizza?

No pizza.”

“We own the mall!

no you don’t. white people own the mall.”

“How can you understand him? Easy! I speak baby.”

“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall tick thee off.”

“It’s better to be pissed off, than pissed on.”

“If you can’t dazzle them with your genius, confuse them with your BS.”

“I should keep newspapers in the car and throw them at cats.”

“Excuses are like armpits. everyone has 2 of them and they both stink.”

“[string cheese cut in half by rat trap] Did you see the cheese?!!!”

" I have many enemies, but none with a spider"- russian guy in jungle to jungle